A Different Kind of December: 9 Ways to Make the Holidays Work for Your Family
by Nicoal Price, Generation O Volunteer
It's the most wonderful time of the year! Or is it? The holiday season is meant to bring warmth and light when the days are cold and dark. But for families who are touched by substance exposure, December may feel anything but peaceful.
There's time off from school and routine, travel, different foods, extra activities and events, anticipation, excitement, holiday decor, family visits (with additional layers of complexity for children who don't live with their biological parents), stressed-out caregivers, and sensory overload around every corner! While these aspects of the holidays may impact all children, they present even more challenges for opioid-exposed kids.
Though your life this time of year may not look anything like a Hallmark movie, some approaches can make things a bit brighter and merrier for your family. Here are some strategies for surviving the holidays and finding joy during this hectic season.
1.Keep things simple
Graciously opt out of gatherings and events that don't work for your family. Alternatively, consider modifying your plans: stay for a shorter time, arrive after the meal, leave early, plan for breaks, or suggest a calmer environment. Avoid overscheduling and plan for downtime after busy days.
2.Think about gifts
If your child gets overwhelmed when opening presents, consider limiting the number or types of gifts they receive. Plan to open them slowly, maybe even over a number of days. Have a heart-to-heart with relatives in advance about gifting overstimulating toys.
3.Share your plans
Create a visual calendar so your child knows what to expect. Talk through what will happen at each event. Come up with a plan with your child for what to do when things start to feel overwhelming. Will you take a break outside? Get a snack? Walk around the block? Retreat to a quieter space? Go out and listen to some favorite music in the car? Put on headphones? Having a plan is empowering.
4.Prioritize your routine
It may seem impossible to stick to your family's usual routine this time of year, especially if you're traveling, but make it a priority whenever you can! Keep sleep schedules consistent whenever possible. Eat meals at your usual times, even if that means eating before you go to an event where a meal will be served. Bring along calming comfort items, such as stuffed animals, fidget toys, or headphones.
5.Communicate with family
Let friends and family know about your child's needs ahead of time to avoid misunderstandings. Most people are understanding and happy to accommodate. When that's not the case, try to let go of feeling judged. Do what's best for your child and focus on creating positive holiday memories--even if they look different from your own childhood traditions!
6.Relax about food
Most holiday gatherings revolve around food. While that's the best part of a celebration for many people, it can feel stressful if your opioid-exposed child has feeding or sensory challenges. Try to eliminate any pressure around eating. Eat at home before the gathering and/or bring familiar foods and lots of snacks. Talk with hosts about how you'll be handling meals at gatherings. Do your best to worry less about politeness around mealtimes and instead focus on ensuring your child is getting enough to eat (avoid those hangry meltdowns at all costs!), even if they're only eating their safe foods or need to leave the table frequently.
7.Build in movement
Many opioid-exposed kids thrive on being able to move their bodies. Plan for active periods before and after travel, events, or gatherings. Take a family walk, visit a playground, go sledding or ice skating, swim in the hotel pool, or visit an indoor play space. Avoid events that require your active child to be still and quiet for long stretches if you can.
8.Give some grace
Go into the season with awareness that this time can be rough for your kids and give everyone - including yourself - some extra grace. There will be ups and downs. And though it may feel as if the downs far outweigh the ups, remember to zoom out of the tricky moments to see the bigger picture: you're creating meaningful and happy traditions with your child in ways that meet their unique needs.
9.Take care of yourself
With so much focus on setting the scene for a successful holiday season for your children, it's easy to put your own needs on the back burner. Plan in some time for yourself, whether that's enjoying a mug of hot cocoa after bedtime, scheduling yourself a therapy appointment, leaving the kids with a family member or trusted friend for an afternoon, or just letting go of the screentime guilt and putting on a festive movie for the kids to watch while you take a moment to relax.
The holidays are especially hard for caregivers of opioid-exposed kids, but they can be so beautiful, too. Let the season bring love and joy to your family - rather than overwhelm - by staying focused on creating cozy moments and family traditions that work for you and your vibrant, wonderful kids.